Global Warming = Al Gore’s Revenge on Florida?


After reading more into the current energy/climate crisis, it was only a matter of time before our favorite former VP/former almost-president/environmentalist hybrid, Al Gore, appeared on the scene, with his fancy charts detailing how we’re destroying the planet. After brushing up on the Florida recount, I can see why Gore was so angry at this country — losing an election by 572 votes or how many votes it was must have been an inconvenient truth for him to swallow. Spurred on by his hate of Florida, Gore was determined to find an inconvenient truth of his own that he could unleash upon Florida, something to get them back after costing him the election. After 4 years of research, Gore stumbled upon the frightening phenomena we call global warming. Turns out that by the end of this century, this “global warming” will have caused the oceans to rise so much that most of southern Florida will be underwater. Stunned by this discovery, he decided to spread his message of the catastrophic consequences of global warming through a documentary and a book, so the entire world would know that he would be getting his revenge on Florida in the next century. Because of his enlightening documentary, the citizens of Florida are doomed — and they know it; they’ll be waiting for almost a century for the apocalypse that is the rise of ocean water to descend upon them, all the while thinking, “Jesus, maybe we shouldn’t have thrown Gore’s votes in the shredders after all!” For Al Gore, revenge is a dish best served while drowning in ocean water.
Gores Revenge?

Gore's Revenge?

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  1. It certainly would be his revenge – but, alas, too late.

    If 100 years the ocean does flow over and into Florida – it will coincide with the victory in Iraq, would it not?

    Good post by the way.

    If I could add a little constructive criticism – and by all means delete this part of the post: It would be a little more readable if you broke up the post into more paragraphs. I don’t know if you use the visual editor, if you do I would change over to code – it’s much easier and cleaner plus you can hit enter twice to start a new paragraph.

    You can, of course, tell me to piss off at any time. 🙂

  2. leapsecond

    Ah, good point. Thanks Will — criticism is exactly what I need. I’m not *too* experienced with code, but the switch should be painless; I’m a fast learner.

    …Truth be told, this wasn’t one of my favorite posts upon conception, though certainly better than yesterday’s garbage. Tomorrow and Tuesday, however, should be my best thus far. I hope. Stay tuned!

  3. Craig Berger

    haha very interesting concept.

    I think the last thing to go would be Disney World.

  4. leapsecond

    Disney World and I have a bad history, though I have no idea how Big Al likes it.

    Considering Disney World is smack dab in the middle of Florida, it might be the last to go. Maybe Gore will spare them since he got 6,000 more votes in Orlando’s county than Bush did.

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