Deadly Greenhouse Gas — Dihydrogen Monoxide!

It has come to my attention that CO2 is being blamed for the current state of Global Warming the planet is undergoing at the moment and won’t be breaking out of unless our government prevents us from emitting any more “death gas”, also known as carbon dioxide. But, I can’t let poor little CO2 take the blame for the greenhouse effect any longer: a much more evil substance, operating by the name of dihydrogen monoxide, which contributes to global warming at 3 times the rate of carbon dioxide! Whereas CO2 is absorbed by trees and used for photosynthesis, all this dihydrogen monoxide stuff does is harm people. It:

— Kills thousands of people each year after they accidentally inhale it;
— Is used in pesticides and nuclear power plants;
— Is responsible for the killings of thousands in the wake of Hurricane Katrina;
— Contributes largely to acid rain;
— Causes burns;
— Short circuits electronics;
— Erodes the soil, contributing to mud slides;
— Used in explosives;
— Used by our troops in Guantanmo to torture prisoners (yet another thing the MSM won’t tell us!);
— And many more destructive uses…

And, to add to its awful capabilities, as I’ve stated, in contributes to the “greenhouse effect” three times more than CO2 does!

Yet again, though, our government is too focused on the failed wars in Iraq and catching the invisible man, Osama Bin Laden. They’d rather watch our planet rot while going on a wild goose chase for some guy who doesn’t exist. And get this: not one of the candidates supports the ban on dihydrogen monoxide, and the mainstream media, time and time again, fails the American people in informing them about the real dangers of the world. Well, my friends, spread the word about it and make sure it gets banned! We can’t afford for our planet to be destroyed!

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  1. thebeadden

    I’m kind of torn on the issue, Leap. You can delete my comment above if you want. I won’t be offended.

    Somethings I read say this is normal, the planet is coming out of an ice age and it is natural the earth would warm.

    Then the same site says we are headed for a mini ice age.

    I know humans aren’t helping the situation but I think they keep it as a news story and blame us to get us to pay for crap.

    I don’t know. The whole subject is beyond my scope.

    What do you think? I’d really like to know.

  2. Name

    My fucking god! Dihydrogen monoxide is H2O! FAIL!!!!

  3. Dude, this is a satire on those global warming alarmists and their condemnation of greenhouse gases on principle. I knew dihydrogen monoxide was H2O.




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