Palin’s Inbox Contents: Revealed!

Yeah, yeah, again, I’m picking on the Governor of Alaska though I promised not to… But this was too good of a story to pass up.

As we all know, Sarah “Bush” Palin’s e-mail inbox was leaked, and, man did it have some earth-shattering revelations inside. Example:

From: Rick Davis (dickyd@POW.com)
Subject: Charlie Gibson Interview

Sarah,

We’ve received word from ABC news that, in your interview with Charlie Gibson, you’ll be called on to answer a question about the “Bush Doctrine”. Now, what the “Bush doctrine” means to them and what it means to nice, hard-working, God-loving, people with traditional values, like you and me, are totally different. One refers to George W. Bush’s policies in office, and the other refers to how much we let our daughters shave down there. If you are asked the question and respond with WHAT you think the Bush Doctrine is, we’re going to lose to a Black Muslim dude who thinks he’s Mohammed. Just stall if you’re too tempted to explain yourself.

Sincerely,
Rick

P.S. Threesome with you and Cindy tonight?

Not much needs to be said about that one… But it turns out that Palin might have some foreign policy experience after all:

From: Vladimir Putin (RootinTootinPutin@kagaba.ru)
Subject: Foreign Policy

Sarah,

Please shut up about your foreign policy qualifications just because you can see us from one of your little islands. It insults us here in the Kremlin that you’d have the gall to say you have had dealings with us when you really haven’t. Lies aren’t treated well here, and it’d be unfortunate if you ended up having an accident like Alexander Litvinenko did a couple years ago. It really would be a shame to see you fall conveniently after you try to make us look like an enemy. Remember: In Soviet Russia, RUSSIA SEES YOU!

Putin emailing Palin? Palin getting poisoned by the KGB? I love intrigue! It’s too bad that Putin and his ex-KGB friends actually would be doing us a service by, erm… helping Palin’s death a long like that. Actually, scratch that — that would probably drive us to war with Russia, which we’d eventually lose.

There was an email from Bristol Palin to her mother, but, unfortunately, I lost that one. It had something to do with the son that she already has: the Down’s Syndrome baby.

Editor’s Note: this is all a satire, and if you perceive these statements to be factual, please contact your local mental health clinic

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  1. Editor’s Note: this is all a satire, and if you perceive these statements to be factual, please contact your local mental health clinic

    But you know that some will ignore that advice? LOL

  2. rscme

    You are my hero!!! – Ron




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