Posts Tagged ‘Palin’

This is too funny, and an insult to all of us who actually use our brains. I bet she considers George W. Bush and Dan Quayle fellow intellectuals, too boot!

WaPo reports:

Does vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin consider herself intellectual? You betcha!

“And you have to be up on not only current events, but you have to understand the foundation of the issues that you’re working on,” Palin said in an interview with People magazine. “You can’t just go on what is presented you.”

Although Palin didn’t name a single newspaper or magazine when CBS News anchor Katie Couric asked where she got her information, the Alaska governor told People that she has always been a “voracious reader” and named reading _ anything from biographies to historical works _ as her favorite thing along with her children and sports.

She’s a self-proclaimed intellectual, yet she can’t even construct a grammatically correct English sentence, as “You can’t just go on what is presented you” makes no sense whatsoever.

But, Palin certainly deserves a gold star or something for her intellect and creativity, because:

“I always wanted a son named Zamboni,” she said.

As if Track, Willow, Piper, Bristol, and Trig weren’t enough.

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One story, or two rather, get the honors in today’s GBI:

Good, Bad, and Insightful

Nicholas Sarkozy better watch out: he’s got voodoo dolls of him in France. FP Passport reports:

Nicholas Sarkozy has no trouble laying the smack down on Somali pirates, but it seems his coat of armor is a wee bit thin when he’s the brunt of a joke. A voodoo doll, bright blue and crafted in his image, has the French president throwing a tantrum.

The doll, put out by K&B publishing company earlier this month, comes complete with a set of pins and a voodoo manual that instructs users how to cast a spell. The doll’s body is decorated with quotes of Sarkozy’s most unpopular quips. Across the doll’s pelvic area is the word “scum”, the term which sparked much controversy when he used it to describe suburban youth shortly before riots broke out in 2005.

Sarkozy’s lawyer, Thierry Herzog, has threatened to sue K&B and insisted the 20,000 dolls be removed from the shelves. “Nicolas Sarkozy has charged me with reminding you that he commands an exclusive and absolute right over his image,” Thierry said. “Regardless of his status and fame.”

And the Church of the Apocalyptic Kiwi has a post that links the exposure of Sarah Palin’s $150,000 wardrobe, and yes, that’s the correct figure. $150,000.

I couldn’t make this up.

Is she some kind of sick joke?

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I’m officially speechless at the stupidity of the McCain campaign, or, rather, Sarah Palin. Or both. The folks at SNL should know that they don’t even need a script for Palin: if she talks, she’ll be funny, in an oh-my-God-I’m-so-fucking-ignorant-and-can’t-form-a-coherent-sentence sort of way.

From the New York Post:

SOCCER moms and Joe Sixpacks, listen up. Get your beer, mooseburgers and caribou dips ready. Sarah Palin is doing “Saturday Night Live.” Not Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin doing “Saturday Night Live.” But the Sarah Herself. She has already OK’d it. She’s booked. It’s confirmed. Done deal. Sketches are being sketched as we speak. She – eyeglasses, haircomb, designer jacket and trunkful of gosh-darns, golly-gees and gol-dangs – will be on “SNL” Saturday night, Oct. 25. Sarah’s rehearsal time has already been penciled in for Friday the 24th. And it’s because she wants to do it.

So, my question is: Does this mean Tina Fey has plans to run for VP?

This is astonishing. Quick, people, come see the village idiot attempt to parody herself but fail miserably in the process!

According to Andrew Sullivan, Troopergate has survived, and is, in fact, alive and well.

Let’s hope that it gets shown just how Palin has abused her power as state governor, though it’s been plainly obvious to those with working brains for some time now. Let’s just hope the courts find her guilty… Because, for once, accusations have some factual basis, unlike the entire McCain campaign and its supporters labeling Obama as a terrorist, closet Muslim, Communist, and so on. This abuse of power by Palin is incredibly significant because of two things: John McCain’s poor health and old age, and the past 8 years, where the president has had nearly unlimited power.

And plus, I thought Palin was for job creation; why would she try to get “Joe Sixpack” to lose his job when he needs it so badly?

(If you need a recap on the Troopergate scandal, head over to The Church of the Apocalyptic Kiwi

Yeah, yeah, again, I’m picking on the Governor of Alaska though I promised not to… But this was too good of a story to pass up.

As we all know, Sarah “Bush” Palin’s e-mail inbox was leaked, and, man did it have some earth-shattering revelations inside. Example:

From: Rick Davis (dickyd@POW.com)
Subject: Charlie Gibson Interview

Sarah,

We’ve received word from ABC news that, in your interview with Charlie Gibson, you’ll be called on to answer a question about the “Bush Doctrine”. Now, what the “Bush doctrine” means to them and what it means to nice, hard-working, God-loving, people with traditional values, like you and me, are totally different. One refers to George W. Bush’s policies in office, and the other refers to how much we let our daughters shave down there. If you are asked the question and respond with WHAT you think the Bush Doctrine is, we’re going to lose to a Black Muslim dude who thinks he’s Mohammed. Just stall if you’re too tempted to explain yourself.

Sincerely,
Rick

P.S. Threesome with you and Cindy tonight?

Not much needs to be said about that one… But it turns out that Palin might have some foreign policy experience after all:

From: Vladimir Putin (RootinTootinPutin@kagaba.ru)
Subject: Foreign Policy

Sarah,

Please shut up about your foreign policy qualifications just because you can see us from one of your little islands. It insults us here in the Kremlin that you’d have the gall to say you have had dealings with us when you really haven’t. Lies aren’t treated well here, and it’d be unfortunate if you ended up having an accident like Alexander Litvinenko did a couple years ago. It really would be a shame to see you fall conveniently after you try to make us look like an enemy. Remember: In Soviet Russia, RUSSIA SEES YOU!

Putin emailing Palin? Palin getting poisoned by the KGB? I love intrigue! It’s too bad that Putin and his ex-KGB friends actually would be doing us a service by, erm… helping Palin’s death a long like that. Actually, scratch that — that would probably drive us to war with Russia, which we’d eventually lose.

There was an email from Bristol Palin to her mother, but, unfortunately, I lost that one. It had something to do with the son that she already has: the Down’s Syndrome baby.

Editor’s Note: this is all a satire, and if you perceive these statements to be factual, please contact your local mental health clinic

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